A version of this first published August 21, 2008 in the Henderson Home News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
A friend of mine sent me a compelling letter concerning her two adopted children and their journey to recovery from a disorder many people have not heard of: attachment disorder. Because of space constraints, I’m posting the entire commentary here on my blog. The names have been withheld to protect the boys’ identities.
A Chance at Life: Helping Children with Attachment Disorder
Even with the insights and empirical knowledge I acquired from twenty five years of working with the homeless mentally ill, I felt unprepared and ill equipped to respond effectively to the steady escalation of dangerous and disturbing "acting out" behaviors manifesting in my twelve and thirteen year old sons. They came into our lives at two and three years of age through the Nevada State foster care program. There were no serious signs of effects of the neglect they had endured before coming to us. They were animated happy children who brought joy into our lives. By the time they were four and five the adoption was finalized.
My personal journey into the suffering of my dear sons, Todd and Tyler, has informed my heart yet again in a new way of the urgent and essential life task of learning to love unconditionally. Through the tragic and terrifying turn of events that have shaken our family, I have been awakened to a deeper understanding of why so many that we see on the streets are so broken and seem to be caught in a never ending cycle of self destruction.
I have also realized that every fiber of experience and wisdom that has been woven into my heart over these years has prepared me for the unsentimental nonviolent love, imperative to the recovery of my two sons. I am reminded of the famous quote from Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov , "love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams and books." It is suddenly clear to me that my work with the homeless and my call to be mother are intimately entwined. Both requiring me to never give up on those who society would deem undeserving. Whether that be the homeless man on the street or the delinquent, "problem" child. Both experiences have shown me how to find and mend the heart of the dejected outcast. Indeed, in both instances I have learned what is possible when compassion and empathy replace punishment and rejection.
Presently, both of my sons are in treatment centers. Their placement was in response to their steadily escalating, dangerous, delinquent behaviors. At twelve and thirteen, they were showing signs that something was terribly wrong. We were well into crisis management before we found a therapist who actually understood what was happening. Hence, my husband and I have been living a crash course in the affects of disrupted attachment, sometimes known as Attachment Disorder. We have learned that children who suffer abuse or neglect during the first two years of life, develop an adaptation for survival. One of many serious consequences of this is their capacity to trust adults is severely damaged. Psychologically they have learned that in order to survive, (not die) they must be in complete control. So they manifest behaviors that are subsequently defiant and oppositional. In turn the adults who they already do not trust; parents, teachers, police etc. react with fear, anger or punishment, which in turn fuels the defiance and reinforces their psychological reality that adults are indeed unsafe and cannot be trusted.
There is also a high correlation between parents who neglect or abuse their children and mental illness, increasing the proclivity for mood disturbance in the children as well.
We learned that when children with a history of early trauma reach adolescence, they begin to psychologically relive the trauma suffered during those first two years of life. Indeed often they manifest the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. They begin to experience anxiety, depression and rage.
We pieced all these factors together to begin to understand why our children were self destructing, why they were not coming home at night, getting into fights at school, not going to school. At twelve and thirteen they were taking drugs and alcohol. They had no regard for our parental authority and would be thrown into a violent rage when we set very reasonable limits. We were getting called by the police in the middle of the night because they would sneak out and get into trouble. They were both caught shoplifting a number of times. It was all brought to a head when they were arrested for breaking into a vacant house. While my husband and I were desperately trying to get help we endured many visits from the police. Authorities consistently gave us well intended but misguided advice. They would inevitably remind us that we had the right to use physical discipline on our children and that if we did this we would have better control. One officer, thinking he was helping the situation, told our boys to behave or they would be sent back to child haven.
After many months of living through this nightmare we found a therapist who had personal experience with attachment disorder, he had foster adopted seven children. He helped us to understand what was happening and what we could do about it. At about the same time our research lead us to the Institute for Attachment and Child Development, a therapeutic program in Colorado specifically effective in treating children with disrupted attachment issues.
It was Holy Week, my husband and I were back in Colorado at the Institute for Attachment and Child Development. Tyler has been here for a month in a therapeutic foster home. Here, he was, with the help of highly skilled treatment parents put into a developmental box, bringing him to a younger psychological age. This process along with medications for mood disorder would prepare him for a long anticipated two-week intensive aimed at healing the wounds of his original trauma of early neglect as well as his relationship to Gary and I as his parents. The therapist warns that it will be a roller coast ride of emotions especially for Tyler and that we as parents need to stay on the platform comforting him through it all.
By day three my son is laying across my lap . He is weeping the tears of grief and disappointment that have been buried under layers of anger, confusion and pain. Together my husband and I held him secure, rocking and soothing the deep sobbing that was finally being released. This went on for about an hour before he became calm and the crying ceased. Then the therapist spoke with Tyler to help him understand what just occurred and when he asked Tyler how this all felt, Tyler smiled like a happy child and replied, "satisfying".
It is unfortunate that there are so many who are born, through no fault of their own, into dangerous and compromised circumstances and never find relief. Often they are inheriting a legacy of mental illness, drug and alcohol addictions, neglect and abuse. Nationally one in four former foster youth will be incarcerated two years after leaving foster care. Across the country, for many reasons, there has been a call to reform the foster care system. Part of this reformation should include efforts to provide effective treatment for these children. Perhaps it is time we do more for the future of these children than just building more prisons.
Attachment Disorder and it's concurrent conditions ( is a very serious social ill that can and should be addressed. The therapies are specialized but not impossible to teach and learn. It is possible to find effective treatment to give these babies/children who experience abuse and or neglect a better chance at life. The institutions and bureaucracies that are set up to respond to these children first need to be willing to look at the studies and research on brain development and the effects of this on these babies. They need to take seriously the potential human and social costs that comes from not treating these children. They must be willing to teach potential adoptive and foster parents about these kids and how to parent these children. There needs to be treatment homes with trained treatment parents to care for these kids in every state.
Comprehensive structural changes in adoption/foster care systems will not only alleviate the suffering of families, it will sow the seeds for social transformation putting to rest legacies of abuse and neglect. Certainly this kind of structural change can and will over time yield a decline in the number of homeless mentally ill.
Tyler and Todd are finally both at home. They both successfully went through the treatment program at the Institute for Attachment and Child Development. They now have a new understanding of family. They were helped to face the truth of their original traumas. They were prescribed effective medication. They have a desire to be part of family and have tools and insight to continue the work of healing. My husband and I have also been given the parenting tools and support to help the boys navigate through their struggles. With continued therapy and medication management the prognosis is good. We are on the road to a brighter, healthier future for our family .
We are full of gratitude for the family and friends that have generously supported our efforts to obtain this specialized treatment for our boys. We only wish that someday this type of treatment will be accessible for all families who are raising children with disrupted attachment. We are heartened to see that there are local efforts being made to bring in experts on the subject to educate and work with local parents and clinicians in the field of foster care and adoption.
On September 11 & 12, 2008 at the West Charleston Library there will be an Attachment Disorder Training: Theory, Treatment and Parenting presented by Forrest Lien, LCSW and Konnie Stoltz, Therapeutic Foster Parent and Parent Trainer from the Institute for Attachment and Child Development. Contact information 702-375-2171
Signed: A local Mom
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Hard times call for local measures
This first published August 8, 2008 in the Henderson Home News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
Is the Boyd Gaming Group’s delay of the Echelon resort just the tip of nontraditional economic indicators forming in the minds of Las Vegas Valley residents?
Most people are less likely to be aware of major economic indicators used by analysts to gauge the ebb and flow of the economy, such as sales of retail and food services or perhaps gross domestic product.
The indicators most of us can relate to are events or realities in our daily lives.
The construction of Echelon being stopped mid-swing for a predicted 12 months is a good example of an event that has a chilling effect on many locals. How so? The very fact that 600 of our neighbors are out of work, leaving them and their families in a state of uncertainty, hits home.
Let’s not forget the contractors and subcontractors who provided our neighbors with jobs. Those companies have suppliers and vendors that rely on them to keep their businesses going and their employees working. The trickle-down effect can be far-reaching in a small community that isn’t economically diversified.
Southern Nevada is dependent upon the gaming and tourism industries and is nowhere near to being economically diverse.
Another traditional indicator is the growing number of empty retail spaces in strip malls. Retail vacancy rate is nearly 7 percent of the 4.5 million square feet built. Office space has been reported at nearly 17 percent vacancy.
A friend once told me Americans tend to base the economy on the price of a hamburger. Well, if that’s true, then we must be in a rut. According to a story in the Wall Street Journal, McDonald’s is considering taking the Double Cheeseburger off the dollar menu or at least exploring how to make it less expensive for the company.
In some locations, McDonald’s has been making the burger with one slice of cheese and calling it the Double Burger with Cheese. Other locations have been selling them for a $1.09. In case you’re interested, this burger flap is actually about the price of cheese and not beef — at least for now.
The stumbling economy and the high price of gas helped tank U.S. auto sales, dropping 13 percent in July. High demand for smaller cars is propping up market hopes while the sales of light trucks and SUVs has all but crashed them. However, the luxury market appears stable — interesting! Perhaps this is an indication of the shrinking middle class.
No worries, though. I read somewhere a dealership in Florida is offering a small car with the purchase of an SUV.
There are plenty of economic woes in the airline industry, as well. Some airlines are charging for more than one bag, whereas customarily one could check two bags for free. Some routes have jumped 276 percent in the last year, making it impossible for some folks to fly.
Fewer people are taking vacations away from home and opting for the staycation, staying home or close to home. I’ve heard of some local families going on mini-Vegas vacations by taking advantage of highly discounted Strip hotel rooms for a couple of days. Actually, you can stay at Harrah’s for $49 a night. If you would like something more luxurious, the Bellagio has rooms from $179 advertised. What a concept! A cheap room in a nice hotel with the best accommodations possible, including pool, cabana and some entertainment.
That’s investing in the local economy.
The bright spot on the horizon is the price of gas is falling. I personally find this very suspect, especially on the heals of record profits by big oil companies. Americans tend to have very short memories, and this is what appears to happen. The oil companies push the price of fuel up to an unbearable point, then back prices down enough to make folks feel at ease before the dramatic climb to the next record price begins. We Americans are dumb enough to play the game. The oil companies continue to make record profits for their shareholders, which is the American way. Rightfully so!
Personally, in the case of Exxon-Mobil I refuse to buy their gas unless there is no other choice. In fact, I would rather pay a little more to a smaller company.
Sure the economy is sucking wind, but what can we do about it? Plenty. Start by going to local merchants whenever possible, even if it might cost a bit more. This helps keep our dollars in our community, where it counts.
If you eat out a lot or a little, consider eating at locally owned, independent restaurants instead of the chains that send profits out of state to other communities. Most local eateries are family owned and operated, thus supporting multiple households. Check out the dining pages in some of our papers or one of our coupon books for good deals.
Supporting our local merchants will help buck both traditional and non-traditional economic indicators. Give no free rent in our minds for the economic boogie man.
Shop wisely, community-wise that is.
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Is the Boyd Gaming Group’s delay of the Echelon resort just the tip of nontraditional economic indicators forming in the minds of Las Vegas Valley residents?
Most people are less likely to be aware of major economic indicators used by analysts to gauge the ebb and flow of the economy, such as sales of retail and food services or perhaps gross domestic product.
The indicators most of us can relate to are events or realities in our daily lives.
The construction of Echelon being stopped mid-swing for a predicted 12 months is a good example of an event that has a chilling effect on many locals. How so? The very fact that 600 of our neighbors are out of work, leaving them and their families in a state of uncertainty, hits home.
Let’s not forget the contractors and subcontractors who provided our neighbors with jobs. Those companies have suppliers and vendors that rely on them to keep their businesses going and their employees working. The trickle-down effect can be far-reaching in a small community that isn’t economically diversified.
Southern Nevada is dependent upon the gaming and tourism industries and is nowhere near to being economically diverse.
Another traditional indicator is the growing number of empty retail spaces in strip malls. Retail vacancy rate is nearly 7 percent of the 4.5 million square feet built. Office space has been reported at nearly 17 percent vacancy.
A friend once told me Americans tend to base the economy on the price of a hamburger. Well, if that’s true, then we must be in a rut. According to a story in the Wall Street Journal, McDonald’s is considering taking the Double Cheeseburger off the dollar menu or at least exploring how to make it less expensive for the company.
In some locations, McDonald’s has been making the burger with one slice of cheese and calling it the Double Burger with Cheese. Other locations have been selling them for a $1.09. In case you’re interested, this burger flap is actually about the price of cheese and not beef — at least for now.
The stumbling economy and the high price of gas helped tank U.S. auto sales, dropping 13 percent in July. High demand for smaller cars is propping up market hopes while the sales of light trucks and SUVs has all but crashed them. However, the luxury market appears stable — interesting! Perhaps this is an indication of the shrinking middle class.
No worries, though. I read somewhere a dealership in Florida is offering a small car with the purchase of an SUV.
There are plenty of economic woes in the airline industry, as well. Some airlines are charging for more than one bag, whereas customarily one could check two bags for free. Some routes have jumped 276 percent in the last year, making it impossible for some folks to fly.
Fewer people are taking vacations away from home and opting for the staycation, staying home or close to home. I’ve heard of some local families going on mini-Vegas vacations by taking advantage of highly discounted Strip hotel rooms for a couple of days. Actually, you can stay at Harrah’s for $49 a night. If you would like something more luxurious, the Bellagio has rooms from $179 advertised. What a concept! A cheap room in a nice hotel with the best accommodations possible, including pool, cabana and some entertainment.
That’s investing in the local economy.
The bright spot on the horizon is the price of gas is falling. I personally find this very suspect, especially on the heals of record profits by big oil companies. Americans tend to have very short memories, and this is what appears to happen. The oil companies push the price of fuel up to an unbearable point, then back prices down enough to make folks feel at ease before the dramatic climb to the next record price begins. We Americans are dumb enough to play the game. The oil companies continue to make record profits for their shareholders, which is the American way. Rightfully so!
Personally, in the case of Exxon-Mobil I refuse to buy their gas unless there is no other choice. In fact, I would rather pay a little more to a smaller company.
Sure the economy is sucking wind, but what can we do about it? Plenty. Start by going to local merchants whenever possible, even if it might cost a bit more. This helps keep our dollars in our community, where it counts.
If you eat out a lot or a little, consider eating at locally owned, independent restaurants instead of the chains that send profits out of state to other communities. Most local eateries are family owned and operated, thus supporting multiple households. Check out the dining pages in some of our papers or one of our coupon books for good deals.
Supporting our local merchants will help buck both traditional and non-traditional economic indicators. Give no free rent in our minds for the economic boogie man.
Shop wisely, community-wise that is.
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Monday, July 28, 2008
We must confront our own racisim
This first published July 24, 2008 in the Henderson Home News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
ATLANTA — The weather here is hot and sticky. The days get long and hot here in the South. The resting place of the greatest civil rights activist in American history, Martin Luther King Jr., this is the perfect location to discuss racism in America.
This week I have the privilege of spending a week at Oglethorpe University, with not only many of the brightest minds in the area of social justice, but also people who teach and live it.
The Social Action Summer Institute brings Catholic social action leaders from around the United States together to share best practices and study advanced topics.
It is a national institute for Catholic social justice ministries to develop leadership skills in community activism and the advocacy for those living in poverty or on the margins of society.
This year’s advanced track is a symposium on racism with presentations titled “The Color-Blind Ideology: The Current Racial Order in the U.S.” by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, professor of sociology at Duke University. The Rev. Bryan Massingale, doctorate of sacred theology and associate professor of theology at Marquette University, is presenting “The History of Catholic Social Teaching on Race and Racism.”
Although the intention is to build skills to prompt Catholics in the pews to take action, that action benefits all people of every race and every faith. The very basic theme is to protect human dignity of all people in the human family.
Ms. Sherry Frank of the American Jewish Committee is presenting “Building Interreligious and Interracial Justice Coalitions.” The title of this presentation exemplifies the importance of solidarity within the human family just as it is important in your or my immediate families. Individuals together with families create communities, the collective power of communities make nations and the people of those nations make up the human family. And just as there is strife, disagreement and fighting within families, it is the same with the human family. Therefore as people of faith, with all faiths working together, a change in the world is possible.
Having grown up in a family where racism was pretty much non-existent and taboo to say the least, we grew up understanding all people are created equal no matter what the color of their skin, race, nationality or gender. Our parents took every opportunity to share different cultures with us.
In my own experience, I was pretty much color-blind as a child, having a Pollyanna view of racism because I had not ever experienced it. That was until we moved to Las Vegas from Carson City and I transferred to Valley High School. It was there I got my first taste of racism — but it was a reverse racism where I mistakenly felt at the time I was the victim. At first it appeared to be just a case of bullying and intimidation, until names referring to the color of my skin were used.
Fortunately, it didn’t last long. I ended up befriending many of my African-American tormentors. Sounds odd doesn’t it? Today I can draw on the same friendships developed back then following a racially turbulent time in Las Vegas. Some of my friends are now successful businessmen and community leaders.
My parents helped me understand the racial strife and how to deal with it by example, a few good books and a couple of movies to start. But most of all, their care and love for all people was evident and made a lasting impression. Their encouragement to experience others’ cultures or the cultures of different nationalities, including language and best of all cooking, set the foundation for human understanding and compassion.
The challenge today is to get people to confront their own prejudices by first eliminating the “us and them” mentality and striving for equality among all people. It’s not only a class issue, but rather deep-seated color issues, as well as white privilege.
This year we honored the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 40 years after his assassination, and today, after 40 years, we have not come close to abolishing racism. Although we have developed tolerance in society, tolerance is not the solution, but rather a Band-Aid.
Yes, we could very well elect an African-American president this year, but does that mean we have become less racist in America?
I don’t think so, but it does indicate a shift in the scale of racial equality.
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
ATLANTA — The weather here is hot and sticky. The days get long and hot here in the South. The resting place of the greatest civil rights activist in American history, Martin Luther King Jr., this is the perfect location to discuss racism in America.
This week I have the privilege of spending a week at Oglethorpe University, with not only many of the brightest minds in the area of social justice, but also people who teach and live it.
The Social Action Summer Institute brings Catholic social action leaders from around the United States together to share best practices and study advanced topics.
It is a national institute for Catholic social justice ministries to develop leadership skills in community activism and the advocacy for those living in poverty or on the margins of society.
This year’s advanced track is a symposium on racism with presentations titled “The Color-Blind Ideology: The Current Racial Order in the U.S.” by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, professor of sociology at Duke University. The Rev. Bryan Massingale, doctorate of sacred theology and associate professor of theology at Marquette University, is presenting “The History of Catholic Social Teaching on Race and Racism.”
Although the intention is to build skills to prompt Catholics in the pews to take action, that action benefits all people of every race and every faith. The very basic theme is to protect human dignity of all people in the human family.
Ms. Sherry Frank of the American Jewish Committee is presenting “Building Interreligious and Interracial Justice Coalitions.” The title of this presentation exemplifies the importance of solidarity within the human family just as it is important in your or my immediate families. Individuals together with families create communities, the collective power of communities make nations and the people of those nations make up the human family. And just as there is strife, disagreement and fighting within families, it is the same with the human family. Therefore as people of faith, with all faiths working together, a change in the world is possible.
Having grown up in a family where racism was pretty much non-existent and taboo to say the least, we grew up understanding all people are created equal no matter what the color of their skin, race, nationality or gender. Our parents took every opportunity to share different cultures with us.
In my own experience, I was pretty much color-blind as a child, having a Pollyanna view of racism because I had not ever experienced it. That was until we moved to Las Vegas from Carson City and I transferred to Valley High School. It was there I got my first taste of racism — but it was a reverse racism where I mistakenly felt at the time I was the victim. At first it appeared to be just a case of bullying and intimidation, until names referring to the color of my skin were used.
Fortunately, it didn’t last long. I ended up befriending many of my African-American tormentors. Sounds odd doesn’t it? Today I can draw on the same friendships developed back then following a racially turbulent time in Las Vegas. Some of my friends are now successful businessmen and community leaders.
My parents helped me understand the racial strife and how to deal with it by example, a few good books and a couple of movies to start. But most of all, their care and love for all people was evident and made a lasting impression. Their encouragement to experience others’ cultures or the cultures of different nationalities, including language and best of all cooking, set the foundation for human understanding and compassion.
The challenge today is to get people to confront their own prejudices by first eliminating the “us and them” mentality and striving for equality among all people. It’s not only a class issue, but rather deep-seated color issues, as well as white privilege.
This year we honored the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 40 years after his assassination, and today, after 40 years, we have not come close to abolishing racism. Although we have developed tolerance in society, tolerance is not the solution, but rather a Band-Aid.
Yes, we could very well elect an African-American president this year, but does that mean we have become less racist in America?
I don’t think so, but it does indicate a shift in the scale of racial equality.
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Return to hectic life disappoints
This first published July 10, 2008 in the Boulder City News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
After a few days of R&R in Lincoln County, I begin to wonder why I don’t spend more time in rural Nevada. It is a simple life where things tend to move at a slower pace than our urban and suburban paces — except when it comes to family, a neighbor in need or work.
One can be sure most folks in rural Nevada are kind, generous and hard working.
Admiring the view of the Dry Valley from the back porch, I watched the ranchers cut one field of alfalfa while on another field they were busy gathering up harvested alfalfa into one-ton bales. In a third field, they tended to the irrigation system that delivers life-giving water to the alfalfa.
The most pressing thing on our minds was what to fix for breakfast and when to go fishing or exploring the back roads of the mountains.
However, in the back of my mind were the realities I intended to leave behind at home. Concern about the price of gas coupled with a failing economy was ever present from Las Vegas to the rural stretches of the state. It appeared fewer people were escaping the heat of the Las Vegas Valley.
Normally traffic from Las Vegas to Pioche would be busy on a holiday weekend, with motor homes, campers, travel trailers and the like. Although there were a good number, it was not nearly as many as in previous years.
It still made for a very relaxing weekend with no real crowds to deal with at the nearby lakes and streams. By Sunday afternoon, I was charged and ready to get back home.
My recharged batteries were quickly draining by 7:30 Monday morning while making my daily trek from Henderson to Bishop Gorman High School as part of my carpooling duties for summer school. The 32-mile summer school commute has been much quicker than during the regular school year largely because, during the summer, we hit Interstate 215 before 7 a.m.
However, on this Monday some genius came up with the bright idea of reducing the westbound 215 Beltway to one lane. At first I thought there might be an accident, because a Clark County School District police car passed us on the left emergency lane with lights flashing. That’s odd, I thought, a school cop responding to a freeway accident.
After 30 minutes of toiling in the stop-and-go traffic, I realized that the previously mentioned genius had reduced traffic to one lane during one of the heaviest commutes of the day. I must have overlooked the notice in one of our papers warning of it.
I was already revved up over the traffic mess, but I got really turbo-charged at the thought of the school cop using his lights and the emergency lane to get through the five-mile traffic jam. I will never know whether he had an actual emergency or not. However, I would bet not.
If you happen to be a parent, then you must realize I endure all sorts of strange music with the kids in the car. After dropping off the kids, I continue my morning ritual by scanning between the AM news stations to pick up on breaking news.
This is where conspiracy talk radio festers like a boil on backside of who knows what. The host this Monday morning laid out his question by saying Assemblyman Mark Manedo, D-Whitney, is creating a back-door attack on talk radio with a proposed bill to ban teen use of cell phones while driving.
The host continued to say the bill is actually a ploy to prevent his listeners from calling into his show using their cell phones.
No kidding, Manendo’s bill is a liberal attempt to ratchet up the “Fairness Doctrine” to push conservative talk show hosts out of business by preventing callers from calling in on their cell phones.
Whoa!!! Don’t drink out of that Kool-Aid cup.
I’m not a big fan of any kind of ban on cell phone use and I agree it would slowly chip away at our freedom of choice — to choose when and where we use cell phones. How we use them is a good point, though, and I have no problem with encouraging people to use a hands-free device while driving.
I’m the biggest offender of all when it comes to using my cell phone and driving. The cell phone has made it possible for me to get twice as much done in my day.
Texting is another issue altogether, because it requires the use of one hand and both eyes. Both of my daughters would disagree because they claim they can text without looking, which is unnerving. They are probably the exception rather than the rule.
The bottom line is that this proposed ban of cell phone use needs some rethinking. It should not take away a freedom nor single out teens or minors. What is good for the goose is good for the gander, and if such a law were passed, it should apply to everyone of all ages.
But in no way is Manendo’s proposal intended to stop conspiracy radiophiles from reaching out to their gurus of conservative spin.
With days like this, I could use another three days in rural Nevada, where conservative values reign and so does a little common sense.
Fishing anyone?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
After a few days of R&R in Lincoln County, I begin to wonder why I don’t spend more time in rural Nevada. It is a simple life where things tend to move at a slower pace than our urban and suburban paces — except when it comes to family, a neighbor in need or work.
One can be sure most folks in rural Nevada are kind, generous and hard working.
Admiring the view of the Dry Valley from the back porch, I watched the ranchers cut one field of alfalfa while on another field they were busy gathering up harvested alfalfa into one-ton bales. In a third field, they tended to the irrigation system that delivers life-giving water to the alfalfa.
The most pressing thing on our minds was what to fix for breakfast and when to go fishing or exploring the back roads of the mountains.
However, in the back of my mind were the realities I intended to leave behind at home. Concern about the price of gas coupled with a failing economy was ever present from Las Vegas to the rural stretches of the state. It appeared fewer people were escaping the heat of the Las Vegas Valley.
Normally traffic from Las Vegas to Pioche would be busy on a holiday weekend, with motor homes, campers, travel trailers and the like. Although there were a good number, it was not nearly as many as in previous years.
It still made for a very relaxing weekend with no real crowds to deal with at the nearby lakes and streams. By Sunday afternoon, I was charged and ready to get back home.
My recharged batteries were quickly draining by 7:30 Monday morning while making my daily trek from Henderson to Bishop Gorman High School as part of my carpooling duties for summer school. The 32-mile summer school commute has been much quicker than during the regular school year largely because, during the summer, we hit Interstate 215 before 7 a.m.
However, on this Monday some genius came up with the bright idea of reducing the westbound 215 Beltway to one lane. At first I thought there might be an accident, because a Clark County School District police car passed us on the left emergency lane with lights flashing. That’s odd, I thought, a school cop responding to a freeway accident.
After 30 minutes of toiling in the stop-and-go traffic, I realized that the previously mentioned genius had reduced traffic to one lane during one of the heaviest commutes of the day. I must have overlooked the notice in one of our papers warning of it.
I was already revved up over the traffic mess, but I got really turbo-charged at the thought of the school cop using his lights and the emergency lane to get through the five-mile traffic jam. I will never know whether he had an actual emergency or not. However, I would bet not.
If you happen to be a parent, then you must realize I endure all sorts of strange music with the kids in the car. After dropping off the kids, I continue my morning ritual by scanning between the AM news stations to pick up on breaking news.
This is where conspiracy talk radio festers like a boil on backside of who knows what. The host this Monday morning laid out his question by saying Assemblyman Mark Manedo, D-Whitney, is creating a back-door attack on talk radio with a proposed bill to ban teen use of cell phones while driving.
The host continued to say the bill is actually a ploy to prevent his listeners from calling into his show using their cell phones.
No kidding, Manendo’s bill is a liberal attempt to ratchet up the “Fairness Doctrine” to push conservative talk show hosts out of business by preventing callers from calling in on their cell phones.
Whoa!!! Don’t drink out of that Kool-Aid cup.
I’m not a big fan of any kind of ban on cell phone use and I agree it would slowly chip away at our freedom of choice — to choose when and where we use cell phones. How we use them is a good point, though, and I have no problem with encouraging people to use a hands-free device while driving.
I’m the biggest offender of all when it comes to using my cell phone and driving. The cell phone has made it possible for me to get twice as much done in my day.
Texting is another issue altogether, because it requires the use of one hand and both eyes. Both of my daughters would disagree because they claim they can text without looking, which is unnerving. They are probably the exception rather than the rule.
The bottom line is that this proposed ban of cell phone use needs some rethinking. It should not take away a freedom nor single out teens or minors. What is good for the goose is good for the gander, and if such a law were passed, it should apply to everyone of all ages.
But in no way is Manendo’s proposal intended to stop conspiracy radiophiles from reaching out to their gurus of conservative spin.
With days like this, I could use another three days in rural Nevada, where conservative values reign and so does a little common sense.
Fishing anyone?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A handshake once said it all
This first published June 26, 2008 in the Boulder City News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
There is a breakdown in the moral compass of American society, which seems to be spinning wildly as though it were seated on the North Pole.
Look at the headlines of teenage girls making a pact to get pregnant so they can raise their babies together, as though it’s a free pass to adulthood. The story is now being denied by city officials, while the high school principal is having a memory lapse, unable to recall where he heard the rumor. Either way, it is a sad indication of society.
Then there are more than 400 people connected to the real estate industry who have been arrested for fraud and other conspiracies connected to the mortgage crisis.
Remember the days when a man’s word was his bond and you could take it to the bank where the teller, who knew you, would accept it based upon your own word? I do!
Some of those folks were the ones who believed in Las Vegas and its potential to thrive, then blossom.
Some were of the unsavory kind. However, if they said they would do something like break your leg, you could count on it.
Then there were respectable ones who made a promise or even an indication they would do something and always followed through.
Growing up, I met many of them through my parents, who had the same high level of integrity.
I’m reminded of these folks who lived by their words after seeing the documentary “Where I Stand: The life of Hank Greenspun.” The film, produced by his granddaughter, Amy Greenspun, and directed by Scott Goldstein, was amazing.
Personally, it chronicled many of the incredible facets of Hank’s life that I already knew. Each segment was akin to untying a ribbon from a present, then opening it up only to discover another present inside. It unfolded the integrity of a man who feared nothing in the pursuit of justice, even if it involved the unjust actions of those sworn to uphold the law.
I said it chronicled many of the incredible facets. Not all, because there was much more to his life that may never see the big screen. His infectious adoration of children, his generosity to employees, his loyalty to his friends and his word as his bond.
Hank was magic, and he had a magic closet to prove it. Just ask the hundreds of children who experienced the mighty publisher opening the closet filled with joy in the form of stuffed animals, trinkets and a treasure chest. With their parents watching, Hank would invite the children to pick a toy to take with them.
I’m not sure who relished in the joy more, the lucky child or the inner child of Hank basking in a moment of unconditional love only a child can give.
He was generous with those who worked for him, even in the most challenging times.
Twenty-nine years ago, he gave a kid a job, even though the kid’s father thought it wasn’t a good idea. Hank said he would help him find a summer job, however. He would never promise then fail to keep his word.
The kid didn’t mind sweeping the mailroom and prepacking inserts for the Las Vegas Sun that summer. Who knew it would be the beginning of a lifelong career in publishing for that kid? Hank gave me my first job in the newspaper, or rather he suggested to someone else to do so.
It’s no secret my dad worked with Hank on a handshake that would extend another 15 years beyond Hank’s death, with his son Brian, until my dad’s death in 2004.
It had then become an annual ritual between my dad and Brian Greenspun. My dad would say, “It’s been another year,” and Brian would ask if he wanted a contract. The answer was always no, because he had one bonded by a handshake.
Hank was a fine example of the moral fabric that made this country great. If you ever get the opportunity to see “Where I Stand,” take it!
It may provide an opportunity for you to take inventory of your life and consider what you can do to help reset the moral compass of America. Perhaps, it’s as simple as following through on your word.
It sounds simple, but is it?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
There is a breakdown in the moral compass of American society, which seems to be spinning wildly as though it were seated on the North Pole.
Look at the headlines of teenage girls making a pact to get pregnant so they can raise their babies together, as though it’s a free pass to adulthood. The story is now being denied by city officials, while the high school principal is having a memory lapse, unable to recall where he heard the rumor. Either way, it is a sad indication of society.
Then there are more than 400 people connected to the real estate industry who have been arrested for fraud and other conspiracies connected to the mortgage crisis.
Remember the days when a man’s word was his bond and you could take it to the bank where the teller, who knew you, would accept it based upon your own word? I do!
Some of those folks were the ones who believed in Las Vegas and its potential to thrive, then blossom.
Some were of the unsavory kind. However, if they said they would do something like break your leg, you could count on it.
Then there were respectable ones who made a promise or even an indication they would do something and always followed through.
Growing up, I met many of them through my parents, who had the same high level of integrity.
I’m reminded of these folks who lived by their words after seeing the documentary “Where I Stand: The life of Hank Greenspun.” The film, produced by his granddaughter, Amy Greenspun, and directed by Scott Goldstein, was amazing.
Personally, it chronicled many of the incredible facets of Hank’s life that I already knew. Each segment was akin to untying a ribbon from a present, then opening it up only to discover another present inside. It unfolded the integrity of a man who feared nothing in the pursuit of justice, even if it involved the unjust actions of those sworn to uphold the law.
I said it chronicled many of the incredible facets. Not all, because there was much more to his life that may never see the big screen. His infectious adoration of children, his generosity to employees, his loyalty to his friends and his word as his bond.
Hank was magic, and he had a magic closet to prove it. Just ask the hundreds of children who experienced the mighty publisher opening the closet filled with joy in the form of stuffed animals, trinkets and a treasure chest. With their parents watching, Hank would invite the children to pick a toy to take with them.
I’m not sure who relished in the joy more, the lucky child or the inner child of Hank basking in a moment of unconditional love only a child can give.
He was generous with those who worked for him, even in the most challenging times.
Twenty-nine years ago, he gave a kid a job, even though the kid’s father thought it wasn’t a good idea. Hank said he would help him find a summer job, however. He would never promise then fail to keep his word.
The kid didn’t mind sweeping the mailroom and prepacking inserts for the Las Vegas Sun that summer. Who knew it would be the beginning of a lifelong career in publishing for that kid? Hank gave me my first job in the newspaper, or rather he suggested to someone else to do so.
It’s no secret my dad worked with Hank on a handshake that would extend another 15 years beyond Hank’s death, with his son Brian, until my dad’s death in 2004.
It had then become an annual ritual between my dad and Brian Greenspun. My dad would say, “It’s been another year,” and Brian would ask if he wanted a contract. The answer was always no, because he had one bonded by a handshake.
Hank was a fine example of the moral fabric that made this country great. If you ever get the opportunity to see “Where I Stand,” take it!
It may provide an opportunity for you to take inventory of your life and consider what you can do to help reset the moral compass of America. Perhaps, it’s as simple as following through on your word.
It sounds simple, but is it?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Do Dems have time to recover?
This first published June 12, 2008 in the Boulder City News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
It's been exactly three months since I wrote about the Democratic dream team meltdown. That column can be found on my blog listed at the bottom of this column.
Now that Obama has prevailed and Clinton has conceded, she certainly has left the door open for the two of them to consummate a deal to seal the dream team, but will he be willing to dance?
It's hard to ignore the fact her spouse is a former president with very distinct opinions. This situation reminds me of something my dad told me more than a few times during his life when I made a decision he wasn't completely sold on. Depending on how little he agreed or disagreed, he would refer to me as Tim, son or boy. He would say “OK, boy, now that you let the tiger out of the cage, let's see if you can keep hold of its tail.”
The question for Obama is if he puts Hillary Clinton on the ticket, will he be letting former President Clinton out of the cage? Is he willing to hold the tiger by the tail?
Actually, it doesn't matter because Bill Clinton is a former president, and he will be an influence no matter who the next president is. That's just the way it is.
Hillary has much to offer the Obama campaign. She has great appeal to women voters. Even first lady Laura Bush said she admires Hillary for her grit and strength, only she wishes the first woman president would be a Republican.
Ah yes, what about the meltdown? Do the Democrats have enough chillers to remold the dream team, or will the Republicans keep turning up the heat? It might be easier to hire a Zamboni and create an ice rink in the desert.
In my previous column, I considered Sen. John McCain as non-threatening to the Democrats, but my consideration is quickly changing.
The election of the president hinges on the quality of the running mate by either candidate.
If I were a tag team wrestling promoter and looking to draw in voters rather than spectators or pay-per-viewers, I would select Obama-Clinton vs. McCain-Romney for a major payday. A matchup like that could give either a party a win.
Its all speculation at this point anyway.
Here's a bit of speculation you can chew on. A friend of mine has suggested to me the Republicans have pretty much given up and are letting the Democrats have the next four years to deal with the mess the economy is in.
That would be a mistake for them. In my opinion, which isn't much, they would be giving up the White House for at least four years and possibly 16. Imagine for a moment that Obama picks Hillary, they win, and she hangs in there for four years, possibly eight. She will still be younger than McCain is today, and he is not too old to run for president. Perhaps, she decides to run against Obama in 2012 — then she could possibly do two terms as president.
This is what I like most about elections, because it allows us the opportunity to imagine strategies that may never happen.
However, if I had a Democratic strategy, it would have been to nominate Hillary first and run Obama the younger of the two as vice president, then in eight years he would have been unstoppable. I'll let you know in November or 2012 if hind site is 20/20.
Tim O'Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
It's been exactly three months since I wrote about the Democratic dream team meltdown. That column can be found on my blog listed at the bottom of this column.
Now that Obama has prevailed and Clinton has conceded, she certainly has left the door open for the two of them to consummate a deal to seal the dream team, but will he be willing to dance?
It's hard to ignore the fact her spouse is a former president with very distinct opinions. This situation reminds me of something my dad told me more than a few times during his life when I made a decision he wasn't completely sold on. Depending on how little he agreed or disagreed, he would refer to me as Tim, son or boy. He would say “OK, boy, now that you let the tiger out of the cage, let's see if you can keep hold of its tail.”
The question for Obama is if he puts Hillary Clinton on the ticket, will he be letting former President Clinton out of the cage? Is he willing to hold the tiger by the tail?
Actually, it doesn't matter because Bill Clinton is a former president, and he will be an influence no matter who the next president is. That's just the way it is.
Hillary has much to offer the Obama campaign. She has great appeal to women voters. Even first lady Laura Bush said she admires Hillary for her grit and strength, only she wishes the first woman president would be a Republican.
Ah yes, what about the meltdown? Do the Democrats have enough chillers to remold the dream team, or will the Republicans keep turning up the heat? It might be easier to hire a Zamboni and create an ice rink in the desert.
In my previous column, I considered Sen. John McCain as non-threatening to the Democrats, but my consideration is quickly changing.
The election of the president hinges on the quality of the running mate by either candidate.
If I were a tag team wrestling promoter and looking to draw in voters rather than spectators or pay-per-viewers, I would select Obama-Clinton vs. McCain-Romney for a major payday. A matchup like that could give either a party a win.
Its all speculation at this point anyway.
Here's a bit of speculation you can chew on. A friend of mine has suggested to me the Republicans have pretty much given up and are letting the Democrats have the next four years to deal with the mess the economy is in.
That would be a mistake for them. In my opinion, which isn't much, they would be giving up the White House for at least four years and possibly 16. Imagine for a moment that Obama picks Hillary, they win, and she hangs in there for four years, possibly eight. She will still be younger than McCain is today, and he is not too old to run for president. Perhaps, she decides to run against Obama in 2012 — then she could possibly do two terms as president.
This is what I like most about elections, because it allows us the opportunity to imagine strategies that may never happen.
However, if I had a Democratic strategy, it would have been to nominate Hillary first and run Obama the younger of the two as vice president, then in eight years he would have been unstoppable. I'll let you know in November or 2012 if hind site is 20/20.
Tim O'Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Gas prices change family's fun
This first published May 29, 2008 in the Henderson Home News, a Community Newspapers of Nevada publication.
What used to be relatively cheap entertainment is no longer so.
For years, we have enjoyed less expensive gasoline in our Northwest Arizona getaway, primarily because there are fewer local taxes added on than in Clark County, which has plenty.
This was true until this past Memorial Day weekend, when the gouging began. The week before, I had checked our only local gasoline retailer in Arizona, and the price was $3.67 per gallon. Imagine my shock over the weekend when I went to fill two 5-gallon gas containers and the price had jumped to $4.19 per gallon. Heck, that’s 10 cents more than the notoriously high-priced Chevron station across from the Hacienda Hotel between Boulder City and the Hoover Dam.
That is a 52-cent jump in price with no explanation. It is taking advantage of unsuspecting visitors and tourists, who quickly realize the nearest pump is at least 30 miles away.
It has always been my habit to spend money at the combination gas station-grocery store to help the local economy by purchasing odds and ends like milk, eggs, bread and filling up with gas before heading home. Although I’m miffed about the weekend price hike, I’ll probably continue to add to the local economy. After all, they bake the best bread around. But I’ll think twice about purchasing gas before heading home.
The days of tossing $25 into the boat tank for a day’s worth of fun whipping the kids around on a towable are quickly fading, along with $20 to spend a day quad riding. The challenge for me isn’t in the price of gas so much as it is the challenge of planning our excursions with better purpose.
This concept makes my bride giddy with excitement, because for her this is an opportunity for families to get back together to spend quality time with each other. This may include shorter boat rides and more family games on the beach or shorter distances on the quads with longer hikes and picnics while out exploring.
Her excitement over quality family time has been resonating with me lately, causing me to rethink how we’ve spent time with our children. Although it has always been our intention to engage our children, it seems I have spent plenty of time entertaining them probably more than I should have.
For example, we have a vacation home with a boat and a few quads. Granted the boat is small and 13 years old, but it has provided us special opportunities to engage our children by experiencing nature in ways not available to most Americans.
Are our children any worse off being entertained? I would say probably not.
The real question is would they be better off without the material stuff and spending more time playing board games?
Maybe so. Or maybe a modified combination would be better to build interpersonal communication skills.
Suppose for a moment that gas is $8 per gallon, you live in an urban city, work within a mile of home, you have no big toys and no car. How concerned are you about the price of gas?
Now suppose for a moment that gas is $8 per gallon and your situation is the same as today. How concerned are you?
It’s not out of the question to consider these situations, because gas is $8.93 per gallon in Germany. Why could it not happen here?
What adjustments would you make to your lifestyle? How would you entertain your children? Would you use the opportunity to engage your children? These are all interesting questions to ponder if you have a moment.
As the economy slumps and the price gougers gouge, look for opportunities to endure by bringing family and friends closer together. Throw a simple barbecue, listen to music and play a few games.
Why wait for the price of gas to go up in order to engage your family in healthy communication and board games?
My bride loves board games. I’m less than enthusiastic about them but willing to play.
So what about you?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
What used to be relatively cheap entertainment is no longer so.
For years, we have enjoyed less expensive gasoline in our Northwest Arizona getaway, primarily because there are fewer local taxes added on than in Clark County, which has plenty.
This was true until this past Memorial Day weekend, when the gouging began. The week before, I had checked our only local gasoline retailer in Arizona, and the price was $3.67 per gallon. Imagine my shock over the weekend when I went to fill two 5-gallon gas containers and the price had jumped to $4.19 per gallon. Heck, that’s 10 cents more than the notoriously high-priced Chevron station across from the Hacienda Hotel between Boulder City and the Hoover Dam.
That is a 52-cent jump in price with no explanation. It is taking advantage of unsuspecting visitors and tourists, who quickly realize the nearest pump is at least 30 miles away.
It has always been my habit to spend money at the combination gas station-grocery store to help the local economy by purchasing odds and ends like milk, eggs, bread and filling up with gas before heading home. Although I’m miffed about the weekend price hike, I’ll probably continue to add to the local economy. After all, they bake the best bread around. But I’ll think twice about purchasing gas before heading home.
The days of tossing $25 into the boat tank for a day’s worth of fun whipping the kids around on a towable are quickly fading, along with $20 to spend a day quad riding. The challenge for me isn’t in the price of gas so much as it is the challenge of planning our excursions with better purpose.
This concept makes my bride giddy with excitement, because for her this is an opportunity for families to get back together to spend quality time with each other. This may include shorter boat rides and more family games on the beach or shorter distances on the quads with longer hikes and picnics while out exploring.
Her excitement over quality family time has been resonating with me lately, causing me to rethink how we’ve spent time with our children. Although it has always been our intention to engage our children, it seems I have spent plenty of time entertaining them probably more than I should have.
For example, we have a vacation home with a boat and a few quads. Granted the boat is small and 13 years old, but it has provided us special opportunities to engage our children by experiencing nature in ways not available to most Americans.
Are our children any worse off being entertained? I would say probably not.
The real question is would they be better off without the material stuff and spending more time playing board games?
Maybe so. Or maybe a modified combination would be better to build interpersonal communication skills.
Suppose for a moment that gas is $8 per gallon, you live in an urban city, work within a mile of home, you have no big toys and no car. How concerned are you about the price of gas?
Now suppose for a moment that gas is $8 per gallon and your situation is the same as today. How concerned are you?
It’s not out of the question to consider these situations, because gas is $8.93 per gallon in Germany. Why could it not happen here?
What adjustments would you make to your lifestyle? How would you entertain your children? Would you use the opportunity to engage your children? These are all interesting questions to ponder if you have a moment.
As the economy slumps and the price gougers gouge, look for opportunities to endure by bringing family and friends closer together. Throw a simple barbecue, listen to music and play a few games.
Why wait for the price of gas to go up in order to engage your family in healthy communication and board games?
My bride loves board games. I’m less than enthusiastic about them but willing to play.
So what about you?
Tim O’Callaghan, co-publisher of the Home News, can be reached at 990-2656 or tim.oc@vegas.com. He writes a regular blog at tocomv.blogspot.com.
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